Moose Tales

Dear Readers:

Ah, yes. Back to the real world. It's Monday and I'm wearing my work clothes, so my vacation must be over. Two days ago my wife and I were living in the land of moose and honey. We breathed clean air and walked on pristine mountainsides. Today I'm fighting traffic, dirty air, and brain pain. Wouldn't it be great if you could live off the land in a natural environment without going broke, looking like Sasquatch, or having your blood sucked dry by giant mosquitoes? Of course, to survive, you'd need to have adequate provisions.

As for me, I'd only plan on taking the necessary essentials: soap, toothpaste, dried food, and a hot tub. My wife would probably add eyeliner and mascara to the list. We realize it's only a spartan list (oh, yeah -- add a cell phone), but we're trying to be frugal. Wild animals live minimalist lives and don't complain; we could stand to learn from them. Last week I came in contact with one of those fellows in its natural habitat. We were lodging near a lake in the mountains of Western Montana and took a morning stroll to the shore. Our hike stopped abruptly as we neared the open water. A rattling sound, like sticks clattering against each other, alerted me. If I took another step, I'd be ten feet away from a huge set of antlers rising above the rushes. Suddenly, I heard a loud grunt and snort; fear froze me in my tracks. Some giant animal was on the other side of that shrubbery. I didn't believe the beast knew I was there, but if I got any closer, it'd be looking me in the eye. If it charged, I'd be a goner. Just what was on the other side of those bushes? Finally, a flick of the antlers revealed it was a bull moose. I've never seen one before, and he was really huge.

I wasn't able to find a spot to take a good picture; the moose, for sure, would've detected my movements. I knew enough to stay out of his way, so I just stood motionless. Some lucky guy who already positioned his camera nearby was getting perfect head shots of my moose. Still, I was enthralled. I had arrived at this serene lake early in the morning to find myself in spitting distance of a large wild animal. The moose grunted loudly every time it breathed (my wife said like a galloping horse). Finally, he sauntered over to the other side of the lake, so I was free to step out into the open and watch from a safe distance. More drama followed. A doe and her fawn pranced across the shallow waters of the lake in front of the moose, occasionally glancing toward him. He didn't like their approach and snorted loudly at them. Then he charged after the deer, causing them to pick up their pace; water splashed in their wake as they double-timed it to the other side, and the fawn's tail stood up like a white flag as it stared nervously at the moose. My wife managed to snap this picture for you to see. How fortunate to be in such a wild place at this opportune moment. The air smelled of fragrant pine, and the scene was surreal.

Until later.