Why do dogs stay with their owners? And who's really in charge? Think about it. Dogs are using us. We are the ones that do all the work. Dogs don't have to take their humans out for a walk, yet we have to be their chauffeur every day. And when is the last time you saw a dog work an honest 40 hour week? They lie around every day of the year, but we only get two weeks vacation. Dogs are smarter than we might imagine. In fact, I think it's all part of some kind of dog propaganda to have us believe we're in charge. Truth be told, they hire us to take care of them. We're just a bunch of lackeys.
First we had to pay money to get one. No honest dog would cohabit with a human for free. Secondly, they make sure we promise them a lifetime supply of food and toys, before they sign on. They have a dog union, Dog Society, to make sure we get it right. If we don't, the police come and free them. Dogs pretend they're dumb just to keep us unsuspecting and under their control. They tolerate orders like, "Sit," "Bark," and "Rollover," just so they can get free treats. I heard a dog talking over Puppy Chunks one day. He was a back-alley mutt who was frustrated that his human took three weeks to learn how to give a treat. He started to miss his life on the streets and almost left, but he hung on until his master finally got it. After that I guess things worked out okay.
See you next week.
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